List of EPF Messages

January 2011

January 14, 2011

G - Red alert! The EPF is under attack! All agents - report to the system scanner in the Command Room immediately. This is not a drill!

January 16, 2011

Director - Our enemy has been identified. Ultimate Protobot, destroyed in 2008, has returned. Be on alert. It is considered to be extremely dangerous.

January 17, 2011

Protobot - Attention EPF. Surrender your computer mainframe. I need it's parts to repair my core circuits. Comply, or face destruction.

January 23, 2011

G - Agents - make sure to check out the new Tech class gear I finished last week. Tech agents are the EPF's computer experts. I'll have more info soon.

January 26, 2011

Director - No new incidents of Protobot's activity have been reported. Remain on alert - we believe it was not working alone.

January 27, 2011

Dot - Update: the newspaper source that revealed us was not the Protobot. I'm sure of it. Whoever it was already knew about us. Still investigating.

January 28, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - RED ALERT! We're under attack! We need to get to the System Defender, pronto!

January 31, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Hello, Error Prone Fumblers! Did you miss me? I see you've already met my latest reinvention: Ultimate Protobot! Stay tuned, there's more to come.

February 2011

February 2, 2011

G - Agents, I forgot to mention: I updated the System Defender last week! Now in an emergency, you can earn medals for defending the EPF.

February 3, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Hello again, Endlessly Pathetic Fools! Figured out what I'm up to yet? Don't worry, I'm out of popcorn... But I may be 'bugging' you again soon

February 5, 2011

Rookie - Hey everyone! I have a theory - I think Herbert and Protobot may have helpers! Something with a tire... Maybe some kind of evil wheel barrow?

February 9, 2011

Director - Stay sharp agents. We suspect Herbert and Protobot haven't given up their assault on System Defender. Be ready for anything.

February 10, 2011

Dot - Everyone get to HQ immediately! We're under attack! I'm detecting multiple enemy signals in System Defender - let's move!

February 13, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Hello Easily Perturbed Fowl! Seems your system is well defended. So this week I'm trying something else. Just a minor test of your skills. MWA HA HA!

February 16, 2011

G - Transmitting to all frequencies. Herbert - why are you attacking us? We thought you had changed your ways. You helped us save the island once!

Herbert P Bear - Tick tock agents. I've left you a special surprise somewhere. I don't mean to 'box' you in, but if I were you, I'd hurry up and find it...

February 18, 2011

Herbert P Bear - I helped you, but that doesn't mean we're friends. Warm up the island, end your noisy parties and maybe I'll consider adding you to my buddy list.

February 21, 2011

Director - Herbert - you will need to try harder if you want to scratch the EPF. Our agents are incredibly skilled, and prepared for anything.

February 23, 2011

Protobot - Attention EPF. The polar bear and I have only begun our master plan. Once I have my core circuits, we will crush you. Resistance is pointless.

February 24, 2011

Rookie - AHH! Help! System Defender! Alert! Attacking! Bugs! Red Alert! All hand on deck! Scramble! Move in! Hurry! Gadzooks!

February 27, 2011

Klutzy - Click clicky click click, D= Click clickety click click click, Q_Q Click click ka-click! ^_^

February 28, 2011

Rookie - Umm... Right back at ya, Klutzy. I think.

March 2011

March 1, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Yo everyone - I've been investigating some unsual computer activity. I've given my report to G - look for new orders soon.

March 4, 2011

G - Good work this week agents. We can now track some of Herbert and Protobot's secret messages. Stay on alert.

March 6, 2011

G - Herbert said he needed the Wheelbot's design. He might be building more, I've prepared a new anti-robot defense cannon just in case.

March 8, 2011

Herbert - Hello, my Exceptionally Putrid Foes! This week I've got a special 'little' treat for you. Actually, I've got a few hundred of them...

March 10, 2011

Herbert - Dash it all! You agents are becoming a nuisance. Shouldn't you be busy waddling around and making friends or something?

March 11, 2011

G - Be careful this week not to tip off Herbert about the hidden message we found. Rookie - please be extra careful. Don't worry, this channel is secure.

March 12, 2011

Rookie - You can count on me! I haven't given away any classified information for weeks!

March 14, 2011

Dot - Heads up - I was disguised as a soccer ball at the Stadium, and I saw a crab rushing around. I suggest we investigate.

March 16, 2011

Director - Agents, make sure you complete your Field-Ops quickly this week. We may have discovered some unsetting information about Herbert's accomplices.

March 18, 2011

G - We've discovered an important clue in Herbert's plans. He may have more crab accomplices working for him than just Klutzy. More info soon.

March 20, 2011

Protobot - Attention EPF. As of now, I am jamming all communication frequencies, Without it, your destruction is assured.

March 21, 2011

G - Protobot’s jammin---$#(SG(GG(#SZ(!&#(*RH$AA#S#GTGG&@HPB!$KTC&:*B&B@----ERROR – SIGNAL LOST.

March 22, 2011

Director - Agents, Protob---- PTTF!#&NSHBT$&*#SBP@$&$#&DJKD@$GB/SB/PK/F$&*-----ERROR – SIGNAL LOST.

March 26, 2011

Protobot - Impossible. You had only 0.1 chance of stopping my signal. The polar bear's calculating were incorrect. Retreating for now.

March 27, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Stop calling me polar bear, you Ultimate Pea-brain 10,000!

March 28, 2011

G - All communication systems have returned to normal. Great work everyone!

March 31, 2011

Rookie - Update - hey everyone! G and the Director have given me orders to work on learning to translate crab. Hope to see you at the party!

April 2011

April 5, 2011

G - I've received reports of a suspicious crab in the Puffle Launch game in the Pet Shop. We may need to investigate.

April 6, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Took a look into this crab guy in Puffle Launch. Spotted him, but he got away. All I know for sure is that it's NOT Klutzy.

April 9, 2011

Dot - Hey everyone. G and I have been working on a major surprise that's coming soon. Here's a hint - start saving your medals.

April 11, 2011

Rookie - I've translated part of a crab message! It said, "Keep cutting fishing lines. Keep tapping on glass. Keep taking Puffle'Os." Weird, huh?

April 12, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - That’s bad news. That means EVERY crab on the island is now a suspect in our investigation.

April 13, 2011

G - A new party will be announced in this week's newspaper. This is the info Herbert is waiting for. Stand by for orders.

April 15, 2011

Director - Attention agents. Complete Field-Ops as soon as possible this week. A signal has been found, and we need more agents to verify its message.

April 17, 2011

G - All agents - we have confirmed that Protobot and Herbert are going to attack the Earth Day Party. They must not succeed! Orders soon.

April 18, 2011

Rookie - *Open message - all channels* Herbert! Are you really going to help destroy the environment??? Why would you do something like that?

April 19, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - *Closed message - channel secure* Rookie, you can't reveal stuff like that! Now Herbert knows we know his plan!

April 20, 2011

Herbert P Bear - So you know Protobot’s plan eh? The plan I’d have to be CRAZY to support? You Environment Protecting Fools better keep an eye on the trees.

April 21, 2011

G - *Closed message - channel secure* Hmm... I think Herbert was warning us. Put all Earth Day Party trees under surveilance. Be ready.

April 25, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Curse you fowl fools! How did you EVER figure Protobot's 'brillant' plan? You must think you're 'smarter' than he is.

April 26, 2011

Protobot - Error. Probability of Elite Agents calculating attack: 0 percent. Wheelbot destroyed. Retreating for now.

April 27, 2011

Dot - Great work everyone! I'm seriously proud of you. FYI - tomorrow I'm introducing a new class: the Stealth Class! More info soon.

April 30, 2011

G - Herbert and Protobot have gone quiet again. This is a good opportunity to prepare. Next week, I’ll start by explaining more about classes.

May 2011

May 1, 2011

G - The agent classes each represent a specialized role in the EPF. Each class brings different strengths and skills to their squad.

G - Tactical agents are experts of snowball combat. They are heavily armored, and solve problems head-on with as much action as possible.

May 2, 2011

G - Tech agents are gadget-geniuses and computer experts. They solve problems with intellect, and are most powerful in front of a computer.

G - Stealth agents are masters of disguise. They solve problems by waiting and watching for the right time to act. They are very secretive.

May 3, 2011

G - Comm Agents are experts in intel and recon. They solve problems with information and diplomacy. They are excellent leaders.

May 5, 2011

Rookie - Whoa! Have any other agents done this week's Field-Op? If not, make sure to write down the message. I'm trying to figure out what it says...

May 6, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Hmm… I don’t trust this message from Herbert. We’ve tried working with him before, and he has not proven trustworthy.

May 7, 2011

Dot - That’s true JPG, but I think Herbert has realized how dangerous Protobot is. If he’s willing to help us, I say we accept.

May 8, 2011

Director - Protobot must be taken offline at all costs. We must act before it has a chance to finish rebuilding itself. That time is now.

May 9, 2011

G - *Closed message – channel secure from Protobot* Alright Herbert. We decoded your message. What is your proposal for taking care of Protobot?

May 10, 2011

Herbert P Bear - About time you made a GOOD decision. I'm sending you Protobot's location now. You DO remember how to use those fancy defense cannons, right?

May 12, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Finished a fly-by of the site north of the Cove. There may still be Test Bots active down there. No telling if Protobot’s offline.

May 13, 2011

Protbot - BZZZK, Calculations complete: The only way the EPF could have known our location was if the polar bear told them. Correct?

May 14, 2011

Herbert P Bear - That’s right, you mechanical menace! I should never have rebuilt you! I want to DEFEAT the Elite Penguin Fools, not destroy them!

May 15, 2011

Protobot - Reclassifying – polar bear is now our enemy. System damage unrepairable. Retreating until new engineer can be located. BZZZZK

Herbert P Bear - Mwa ha ha! All too easy! Now that Proto-bumbler is out of the way, I can begin my NEW plan. Prepare “ye fools” for I “cometh” soon.

May 16, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Yo, I KNEW we couldn't trust you Herbert! I dare you to show your face at the Medieval Party - we're ready for you anytime, anyplace!

May 17, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Temper temper, Jet Pack George.

May 20, 2011

Rookie - Everything looks clean to me so far. Except the puffle pens - they're a bit smelly. But no suspicious-smelly. Just regular smelly.

May 21, 2011

Dot - Disguised myself as a princess and staked out the Attic. No sign of Herbert. Gotta say, I much prefer my uniform to a princess gown. :P

May 22, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Found a suspicious device in the Cave, underground. Spoke to a few agents, and they found one too. No other sign of Herbert though.

May 24, 2011

G - Hm... we're still not sure what Herbert is planning, and he hasn't sent any other messages. Agents, be on full alert this week.

May 28, 2011

G - Still nothing. As far as our surveillance cameras go, we haven't seen anything else suspicious. Stay sharp, everyone.

May 29, 2011

Rookie - Maybe Herbert decided not to do anything bad. The party ends tomorrow, and still no sign of him. Maybe he's a good guy now!

May 31, 2011

G - RED ALERT! All agents report to the Everyday Phoning Facility immediately! We are under attack! This is not a drill!

June 2011

June 6, 2011

Dot - Attention agents: everything seems quiet on the EPF rooftop. I think Herbert gave up. Great work everyone!

June 7, 2011

Herbert P Bear - GRR! You penguin have no idea how to build a proper bot! Your Hydra-bot broke down after being blown up only a few thousand times. CURSES!

G - We did it! That means both Herbert and Protobot have been defeated. For the first time in a year, we have peace on the island. Well done!

June 8, 2011

Director - All agents are ordered to rest and celebrate. Repair teams - move in. I'm temporarily suspending Field-Ops - everyone has earned a break.

June 10, 2011

G - I have spoken with the Director, and Field-Ops will return later this month. For now everyone's orders are to enjoy Music Jam.

June 13, 2011

G - I’m pleased to report that all damage from the Hydra–bot has been repaired. Excellent work everyone!

June 15, 2011

G - According to my calculations, it's my fault that Herbert stole the Hydra-bot. I'm sorry everyone, I should have been more careful with it.

June 17, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Nah, it ain't your fault G. I shouldn't have lost my cool, and dared Herbert to attack us. It's my bad - I apologize.

June 19, 2011

Director - Listen agents – if mistakes were made, we must learn from them and move on. That is why we are a force of agents. No one is perfect.

June 24, 2011

G - Field-Ops will be returning soon. Since Herbert is hiding, we’ll assign weekly training-ops instead, so agents can continue earning medals.

June 26, 2011

G - New Field Op tomorrow. Each class lead will be running a training operation over the next few weeks. Check the command room for orders.

August 2011

August 5, 2011

Rookie - Hey everyone! It’s been super duper quiet recently. What’s going on? Anything new?

August 6, 2011

G - Nothing to report.

August 7, 2011

Rookie - Hey G, what's up with this party everyone's talking about? It says in the newspaper that you're helping arrange it?

August 8, 2011

G - Just a little get together I'm helping out with. Nothing to report.

August 15, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - So G, I was wondering, when are we going to hear more about that party you're planning?

August 16, 2011

G - Check this week’s newspaper for more info. It’s a special edition – scented with fish oil. Don’t miss it.

August 19, 2011

G - Temperature at Toughest Mountain has dropped by 115%. According to my calculations, that should be enough to put Herbert into hibernation.

G - Attention agents: the Comm App is now secure. We're beginning Operation: Hibernation - our plan to capture Herbert. Orders soon.

August 22, 2011

Director - CLASSIFIED: Using System Defender, we traced Herbert's location. We've blasted the area with cold air, wich should make him hibernate.

Director - ORDERS: We have a very narrow opportunity. We need a team to sneak past Herbert's security systems, and capture him before he wakes up.

August 23, 2011

Director - This is a highly dangerous mission. Those who are willing, report to the Command Room on Aug 25 for Operation: Hibernation.

August 24, 2011

Director - To ensure security, there will be no futher messages. We are radio silent. Be resourceful. Be remarkable. Be ready.

September 2011

September 28, 2011

G - Hello everyone! Our Communaction system is finally secure again. Agents - report for a new Field-Op training, and keep an a eye on Herbert.

October 2011

October 4, 2011

G - Update: new Field-Op training is coming this week. Suspect #1 is still secure. Good work agents.

October 14, 2011

Director - We have not yet decided what to do with Herbert. Moving him may be too dangerous. For now, we must keep him safe and secure.

October 21, 2011

Rookie - Hey - if you guys happen to see Klutzy, let me know. We're not trying to catch him or anything, he's just wanted for questioning. Thanks!

October 27, 2011

G - Reminder to some agents - there's no need to detain any ghosts, ghouls or Living Sleds. No matter how spooky they look.

November 2011

November 3, 2011

G - After agents have completed this week's Field-Op, you may take the rest of the week off to play the new Pufflescape game. Enjoy!

November 10, 2011

G - Ninja activity has increased all over the island. If you see any unusual fire ou water activity, do not be alarmed. The situation is under control.

November 17, 2011

Rookie - I just met Sensei!!!! He's so awesome! I was all, "Hi Sensei" and he was like, "I think you're standing on my foot." Sensei rules!!!