List of EPF Messages

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January 2011[edit]

January 13, 2011[edit]

GRed alert! The EPF is under attack! All agents - report to the system scanner in the Command Room immediately. This is not a drill!

January 16, 2011[edit]

DirectorOur enemy has been identified. Ultimate Protobot, destroyed in 2008, has returned. Be on alert. It is considered to be extremely dangerous.

January 17, 2011[edit]

ProtobotAttention EPF. Surrender your computer mainframe. I need its parts to repair my core circuits. Comply, or face destruction.

January 23, 2011[edit]

GAgents - make sure to check out the new Tech class gear I finished last week. Tech agents are the EPF's computer experts. I'll have more info soon.

January 26, 2011[edit]

DirectorNo new incidents of Protobot's activity have been reported. Remain on alert - we believe it was not working alone.

January 27, 2011[edit]

DotUpdate: the newspaper source that revealed us was not the Protobot. I'm sure of it. Whoever it was already knew about us. Still investigating.

January 28, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack GuyRED ALERT! We're under attack! We need to get to the System Defender, pronto!

January 31, 2011[edit]

Herbert P BearHello, Error Prone Fumblers! Did you miss me? I see you've already met my latest reinvention: Ultimate Protobot! Stay tuned, there's more to come.

February 2011[edit]

February 2, 2011[edit]

GAgents, I forgot to mention: I updated the System Defender last week! Now in an emergency, you can earn medals for defending the EPF.

February 3, 2011[edit]

Herbert P BearHello again, Endlessly Pathetic Fools! Figured out what I'm up to yet? Don't worry, I'm out of popcorn... But I may be 'bugging' you again soon

February 5, 2011[edit]

RookieHey everyone! I have a theory - I think Herbert and Protobot may have helpers! Something with a tire... Maybe some kind of evil wheel barrow?

February 9, 2011[edit]

DirectorStay sharp agents. We suspect Herbert and Protobot haven't given up their assault on System Defender. Be ready for anything.

February 10, 2011[edit]

DotEveryone get to HQ immediately! We're under attack! I'm detecting multiple enemy signals in System Defender - let's move!

February 13, 2011[edit]

Herbert P BearHello Easily Perturbed Fowl! Seems your system is well defended. So this week I'm trying something else. Just a minor test of your skills. MWA HA HA!

February 16, 2011[edit]

GTransmitting to all frequencies. Herbert - why are you attacking us? We thought you had changed your ways. You helped us save the island once!

Herbert P BearTick tock agents. I've left you a special surprise somewhere. I don't mean to 'box' you in, but if I were you, I'd hurry up and find it...

February 18, 2011[edit]

Herbert P BearI helped you, but that doesn't mean we're friends. Warm up the island, end your noisy parties and maybe I'll consider adding you to my buddy list.

February 21, 2011[edit]

DirectorHerbert - you will need to try harder if you want to scratch the EPF. Our agents are incredibly skilled, and prepared for anything.

February 23, 2011[edit]

ProtobotAttention EPF. The polar bear and I have only begun our master plan. Once I have my core circuits, we will crush you. Resistance is pointless.

February 24, 2011[edit]

RookieAHH! Help! System Defender! Alert! Attacking! Bugs! Red Alert! All hand on deck! Scramble! Move in! Hurry! Gadzooks!

February 27, 2011[edit]

KlutzyClick clicky click click, D= Click clickety click click click, Q_Q Click click ka-click! ^_^

February 28, 2011[edit]

RookieUmm... Right back at ya, Klutzy. I think.

March 2011[edit]

March 1, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack GuyYo everyone - I've been investigating some unsual computer activity. I've given my report to G - look for new orders soon.

March 4, 2011[edit]

GGood work this week agents. We can now track some of Herbert and Protobot's secret messages. Stay on alert.

March 6, 2011[edit]

GHerbert said he needed the Wheelbot's design. He might be building more, I've prepared a new anti-robot defense cannon just in case.

March 8, 2011[edit]

HerbertHello, my Exceptionally Putrid Foes! This week I've got a special 'little' treat for you. Actually, I've got a few hundred of them...

March 10, 2011[edit]

HerbertDash it all! You agents are becoming a nuisance. Shouldn't you be busy waddling around and making friends or something?

March 11, 2011[edit]

GBe careful this week not to tip off Herbert about the hidden message we found. Rookie - please be extra careful. Don't worry, this channel is secure.

March 12, 2011[edit]

RookieYou can count on me! I haven't given away any classified information for weeks!

March 14, 2011[edit]

DotHeads up - I was disguised as a soccer ball at the Stadium, and I saw a crab rushing around. I suggest we investigate.

March 16, 2011[edit]

DirectorAgents, make sure you complete your Field-Ops quickly this week. We may have discovered some unsetting information about Herbert's accomplices.

March 18, 2011[edit]

GWe've discovered an important clue in Herbert's plans. He may have more crab accomplices working for him than just Klutzy. More info soon.

March 20, 2011[edit]

ProtobotAttention EPF. As of now, I am jamming all communication frequencies, Without it, your destruction is assured.

March 21, 2011[edit]

GProtobot’s jammin---$#(SG(GG(#SZ(!&#(*RH$AA#S#GTGG&@HPB!$KTC&:*B&[email protected] – SIGNAL LOST.

March 22, 2011[edit]

DirectorAgents, Protob---- PTTF!#&NSHBT$&*#[email protected]$&$#&[email protected]$GB/SB/PK/F$&*-----ERROR – SIGNAL LOST.

March 26, 2011[edit]

ProtobotImpossible. You had only 0.1 chance of stopping my signal. The polar bear's calculating were incorrect. Retreating for now.

March 27, 2011[edit]

Herbert P BearStop calling me polar bear, you Ultimate Pea-brain 10,000!

March 28, 2011[edit]

GAll communication systems have returned to normal. Great work everyone!

March 31, 2011[edit]

RookieUpdate - hey everyone! G and the Director have given me orders to work on learning to translate crab. Hope to see you at the party!

April 2011[edit]

April 5, 2011[edit]

GI've received reports of a suspicious crab in the Puffle Launch game in the Pet Shop. We may need to investigate.

April 6, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack GuyTook a look into this crab guy in Puffle Launch. Spotted him, but he got away. All I know for sure is that it's NOT Klutzy.

April 9, 2011[edit]

DotHey everyone. G and I have been working on a major surprise that's coming soon. Here's a hint - start saving your medals.

April 11, 2011[edit]

RookieI've translated part of a crab message! It said, "Keep cutting fishing lines. Keep tapping on glass. Keep taking Puffle O's." Weird, huh?

April 12, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack GuyThat’s bad news. That means EVERY crab on the island is now a suspect in our investigation.

April 13, 2011[edit]

GA new party will be announced in this week's newspaper. This is the info Herbert is waiting for. Stand by for orders.

April 15, 2011[edit]

DirectorAttention agents. Complete Field-Ops as soon as possible this week. A signal has been found, and we need more agents to verify its message.

April 17, 2011[edit]

GAll agents - we have confirmed that Protobot and Herbert are going to attack the Earth Day Party. They must not succeed! Orders soon.

April 18, 2011[edit]

Rookie*Open message - all channels* Herbert! Are you really going to help destroy the environment??? Why would you do something like that?

April 19, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack Guy*Closed message - channel secure* Rookie, you can't reveal stuff like that! Now Herbert knows we know his plan!

April 20, 2011[edit]

Herbert P BearSo you know Protobot’s plan eh? The plan I’d have to be CRAZY to support? You Environment Protecting Fools better keep an eye on the trees.

April 21, 2011[edit]

G*Closed message - channel secure* Hmm... I think Herbert was warning us. Put all Earth Day Party trees under surveilance. Be ready.

April 25, 2011[edit]

Herbert P BearCurse you fowl fools! How did you EVER figure Protobot's 'brillant' plan? You must think you're 'smarter' than he is.

April 26, 2011[edit]

ProtobotError. Probability of Elite Agents calculating attack: 0 percent. Wheelbot destroyed. Retreating for now.

April 27, 2011[edit]

DotGreat work everyone! I'm seriously proud of you. FYI - tomorrow I'm introducing a new class: the Stealth Class! More info soon.

April 30, 2011[edit]

GHerbert and Protobot have gone quiet again. This is a good opportunity to prepare. Next week, I’ll start by explaining more about classes.

May 2011[edit]

May 1, 2011[edit]

GThe agent classes each represent a specialized role in the EPF. Each class brings different strengths and skills to their squad.

GTactical agents are experts of snowball combat. They are heavily armored, and solve problems head-on with as much action as possible.

May 2, 2011[edit]

GTech agents are gadget-geniuses and computer experts. They solve problems with intellect, and are most powerful in front of a computer.

GStealth agents are masters of disguise. They solve problems by waiting and watching for the right time to act. They are very secretive.

May 3, 2011[edit]

GComm Agents are experts in intel and recon. They solve problems with information and diplomacy. They are excellent leaders.

May 5, 2011[edit]

RookieWhoa! Have any other agents done this week's Field-Op? If not, make sure to write down the message. I'm trying to figure out what it says...

May 6, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack GuyHmm… I don’t trust this message from Herbert. We’ve tried working with him before, and he has not proven trustworthy.

May 7, 2011[edit]

DotThat’s true JPG, but I think Herbert has realized how dangerous Protobot is. If he’s willing to help us, I say we accept.

May 8, 2011[edit]

DirectorProtobot must be taken offline at all costs. We must act before it has a chance to finish rebuilding itself. That time is now.

May 9, 2011[edit]

G *Closed message – channel secure from Protobot* Alright Herbert. We decoded your message. What is your proposal for taking care of Protobot?

May 10, 2011[edit]

Herbert P BearAbout time you made a GOOD decision. I'm sending you Protobot's location now. You DO remember how to use those fancy defense cannons, right?

May 12, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack GuyFinished a fly-by of the site north of the Cove. There may still be Test Bots active down there. No telling if Protobot’s offline.

May 13, 2011[edit]

ProtbotBZZZK, Calculations complete: The only way the EPF could have known our location was if the polar bear told them. Correct?

May 14, 2011[edit]

Herbert P BearThat’s right, you mechanical menace! I should never have rebuilt you! I want to DEFEAT the Elite Penguin Fools, not destroy them!

May 15, 2011[edit]

ProtobotReclassifying – polar bear is now our enemy. System damage unrepairable. Retreating until new engineer can be located. BZZZZK

Herbert P BearMwa ha ha! All too easy! Now that Proto-bumbler is out of the way, I can begin my NEW plan. Prepare “ye fools” for I “cometh” soon.

May 16, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack GuyYo, I KNEW we couldn't trust you Herbert! I dare you to show your face at the Medieval Party - we're ready for you anytime, anyplace!

May 17, 2011[edit]

Herbert P BearTemper temper, Jet Pack George.

May 20, 2011[edit]

RookieEverything looks clean to me so far. Except the puffle pens - they're a bit smelly. But no suspicious-smelly. Just regular smelly.

May 21, 2011[edit]

DotDisguised myself as a princess and staked out the Attic. No sign of Herbert. Gotta say, I much prefer my uniform to a princess gown. :P

May 22, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack GuyFound a suspicious device in the Cave, underground. Spoke to a few agents, and they found one too. No other sign of Herbert though.

May 24, 2011[edit]

GHm... we're still not sure what Herbert is planning, and he hasn't sent any other messages. Agents, be on full alert this week.

May 28, 2011[edit]

GStill nothing. As far as our surveillance cameras go, we haven't seen anything else suspicious. Stay sharp, everyone.

May 29, 2011[edit]

RookieMaybe Herbert decided not to do anything bad. The party ends tomorrow, and still no sign of him. Maybe he's a good guy now!

May 31, 2011[edit]

GRED ALERT! All agents report to the Everyday Phoning Facility immediately! We are under attack! This is not a drill!

June 2011[edit]

June 6, 2011[edit]

DotAttention agents: everything seems quiet on the EPF rooftop. I think Herbert gave up. Great work everyone!

June 7, 2011[edit]

Herbert P BearGRR! You penguin have no idea how to build a proper bot! Your Hydra-bot broke down after being blown up only a few thousand times. CURSES!

GWe did it! That means both Herbert and Protobot have been defeated. For the first time in a year, we have peace on the island. Well done!

June 8, 2011[edit]

DirectorAll agents are ordered to rest and celebrate. Repair teams - move in. I'm temporarily suspending Field-Ops - everyone has earned a break.

June 10, 2011[edit]

GI have spoken with the Director, and Field-Ops will return later this month. For now everyone's orders are to enjoy Music Jam.

June 13, 2011[edit]

GI’m pleased to report that all damage from the Hydra–bot has been repaired. Excellent work everyone!

June 15, 2011[edit]

GAccording to my calculations, it's my fault that Herbert stole the Hydra-bot. I'm sorry everyone, I should have been more careful with it.

June 17, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack GuyNah, it ain't your fault G. I shouldn't have lost my cool, and dared Herbert to attack us. It's my bad - I apologize.

June 19, 2011[edit]

DirectorListen agents – if mistakes were made, we must learn from them and move on. That is why we are a force of agents. No one is perfect.

June 24, 2011[edit]

GField-Ops will be returning soon. Since Herbert is hiding, we’ll assign weekly training-ops instead, so agents can continue earning medals.

June 26, 2011[edit]

GNew Field Op tomorrow. Each class lead will be running a training operation over the next few weeks. Check the command room for orders.

August 2011[edit]

August 5, 2011[edit]

RookieHey everyone! It’s been super duper quiet recently. What’s going on? Anything new?

August 6, 2011[edit]

GNothing to report.

August 7, 2011[edit]

RookieHey G, what's up with this party everyone's talking about? It says in the newspaper that you're helping arrange it?

August 8, 2011[edit]

GJust a little get together I'm helping out with. Nothing to report.

August 15, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack GuySo G, I was wondering, when are we going to hear more about that party you're planning?

August 16, 2011[edit]

GCheck this week’s newspaper for more info. It’s a special edition – scented with fish oil. Don’t miss it.

August 19, 2011[edit]

GTemperature at Toughest Mountain has dropped by 115%. According to my calculations, that should be enough to put Herbert into hibernation.

GAttention agents: the Comm App is now secure. We're beginning Operation: Hibernation - our plan to capture Herbert. Orders soon.

August 22, 2011[edit]

DirectorCLASSIFIED: Using System Defender, we traced Herbert's location. We've blasted the area with cold air, wich should make him hibernate.

DirectorORDERS: We have a very narrow opportunity. We need a team to sneak past Herbert's security systems, and capture him before he wakes up.

August 23, 2011[edit]

DirectorThis is a highly dangerous mission. Those who are willing, report to the Command Room on Aug 25 for Operation: Hibernation.

August 24, 2011[edit]

DirectorTo ensure security, there will be no futher messages. We are radio silent. Be resourceful. Be remarkable. Be ready.

September 2011[edit]

September 28, 2011[edit]

GHello everyone! Our Communaction system is finally secure again. Agents - report for a new Field-Op training, and keep an eye on Herbert.

October 2011[edit]

October 4, 2011[edit]

GUpdate: new Field-Op training is coming this week. Suspect #1 is still secure. Good work agents.

October 14, 2011[edit]

DirectorWe have not yet decided what to do with Herbert. Moving him may be too dangerous. For now, we must keep him safe and secure.

October 21, 2011[edit]

RookieHey - if you guys happen to see Klutzy, let me know. We're not trying to catch him or anything, he's just wanted for questioning. Thanks!

October 27, 2011[edit]

GReminder to some agents - there's no need to detain any ghosts, ghouls or Living Sleds. No matter how spooky they look.

November 2011[edit]

November 3, 2011[edit]

GAfter agents have completed this week's Field-Op, you may take the rest of the week off to play the new Pufflescape game. Enjoy!

November 10, 2011[edit]

GNinja activity has increased all over the island. If you see any unusual fire or water activity, do not be alarmed. The situation is under control.

November 17, 2011[edit]

RookieI just met Sensei!!!! He's so awesome! I was all, "Hi Sensei" and he was like, "I think you're standing on my foot." Sensei rules!!!

November 24, 2011[edit]

Jet Pack GuyUpdate: just checked on Herbert. The extra heat on the island hasn't affected the Air Conditioner 3000. He is still safely secured.

December 2011[edit]

December 2, 2011[edit]

RookieDot! I don't want to alarm you, but someone is selling your tree disguises in the Gift Shop. Should I start detaining trees? Over.

December 8, 2011[edit]

DotThose aren't disguises Rookie - they're costumes. Even then, I would never advise detaining trees. You should probably leaf them alone.

December 22, 2011[edit]

DirectorAttention Agents - we are aware of situation in Herberts hibernation cell. G has your orders.

December 29, 2011[edit]

GWell done this year Agents. There were many challenges, but we faced them together. No matter what 2012 holds for us, I know we'll be ready.


January 2012[edit]

January 5, 2012[edit]

RookieI’ve got BIG news! I was asked to help plan this month’s Expedition Party! I have lots of good ideas too. Read about it in next week’s newspaper!

January 12, 2012[edit]

GGood luck with the party planning Rookie. Your request has been approved. All agents - be on alert to help Rookie with his preparations.

January 19, 2012[edit]

RookieI'm so excited for next week's Underwater Expedition! I guarantee it's going to be a party to remeber!

January 26, 2012[edit]

DirectorRED ALERT! All agents respond! Focus all efforts on protecting Club Penguin citizens. This is not a drill!

February 2012[edit]

February 2, 2012[edit]

DirectorAll reports confirm that Herbert has vanished without a trace. We believe he will lie low for the time being. G has your orders.

February 9, 2012[edit]

Jet Pack GuyFinished another sweep of the island. No sign of Herbert. How did he just vanish into thin air? You'd think he'd be groggy from his four month nap…

February 16, 2012[edit]

GRockhopper has requested my help to upgrade his ship. For now I'll be assigning orders, but Dot is taking over the Herbert investigation.

February 24, 2012[edit]

Jet Pack GuyMan, I can't believe we still haven't heard from Herbert! You'd think he'd be bragging about how he got away. Where IS he?

March 2012[edit]

March 1, 2012[edit]

Jet Pack GuyI was keeping an eye on the Migrator, in case Herbert tried to board in disguise. Saw lots of Vikings, dinosaurs, and pirates. No polar bears.

March 8, 2012[edit]

DotStill no sign of Herbert or Klutzy. I'll be meeting with the Director this week to discuss what we should do next. G has your orders.

March 15, 2012[edit]

GHerbert did not respond to our broadcast last week. We must wait for him to make the first move. There is not much else we can do.

March 22, 2012[edit]

DotEveryone - I have an idea. It's a bit risky, but it might just lure Herbert out of hiding. All we need is the right bait...

March 29, 2012[edit]

RookieHey! If you rearrange the letters in ‘Box Dimension’ you can spell ‘BeD mix onions’! I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds delicious!

April 2012[edit]

April 5, 2012[edit]

Dot I scanned the Aqua Grabber this morning, and the computer core was still there. So this week we're going to try something more drastic. G has your orders.

April 12, 2012[edit]

DotI checked the arcade we loaded the fake message intro. It hasn't been plugged in or tampered with. I have one more idea. G has your orders.

April 19, 2012[edit]

DotHerbert didn't take the bait. The computer we left connected to the EPF mainframe wasn't tampered with. Herbert could be long gone.

April 26, 2012[edit]

RookieHey everyone, I was in the Pizza Shop, and I overheard someone say there's a cream soda shortage. Is Rockhopper in town???

May 2012[edit]

May 3, 2012[edit]

GAttention agents - I will be issuing your orders, but Dot is still in charge of the investigation. I have some pressing matters to attend to...

May 10, 2012[edit]

Jet Pack GuyAlert! Radar is picking up something BIG flying around the island! It’s too fast to follow – has anyone gotten a visual on this thing yet?

May 17, 2012[edit]

Jet Pack GuyMayday! Mayday! We've got an emergency situation! A... dragon has taken over the island!? What is going on here?? Orders???

May 24, 2012[edit]

RookieG, are you feeling okay? You've been acting a bit funny. Maybe you need more coffee? Or less?

May 31, 2012[edit]

GAt last, I'm feeling normal again. It seems Scorn's curse had a large effect on me. Did I do anything strange?

June 2012[edit]

June 7, 2012[edit]

ProtobotAttention EPF. The Meteor has restored my power. I am assembling a robot of immense force. Prepare for destruction.

June 22, 2012[edit]

Jet Pack GuyGreat work everyone - keep it up! These Super Villains are no match for the Elite Penguin Force!

June 28, 2012[edit]

GAgents, we must not give up! Desperate times call for desperate measures. Report to the Command Room--we have a plan.

July 2012[edit]

July 6, 2012[edit]

GOutstanding work Agents! Destructobot has been defeated, and is being dismantled. But we cannot rest yet! You have new orders.

July 12, 2012[edit]

GWe’ve analyzed the message you all detected last week, and we have a lead. Report to the Command Room for orders.

July 19, 2012[edit]

GWe have Protobot on the run! Report to the Command Room quickly, so we can put a stop to this mechanical menace.

July 26, 2012[edit]

GWe haven’t detected any more Protobot computer infections, but we can’t rest yet. More orders ready in the Command Room.

August 2012[edit]

August 2, 2012[edit]

RookieGreat job everyone! Here's hoping we don't run into any more dragons, giant robots, or fan mobs for a while. I'm pooped!

August 9, 2012[edit]

Jet Pack GuyWhoa! Hey everyone, sensors just started picking up some weird energy readings. Is there another Meteor or something nearby?

August 16, 2012[edit]

GI spoke with Rockhopper - he's bringing an unusual totem with him that might be responsible for the strange energy readings. Agents, remain on standby.

August 23, 2012[edit]

RookieOh man! MORE strange stuff is happening! Giant volcano thing! Apples! Pineapples! Watermelon! Help!

August 30, 2012[edit]

Jet Pack GuyI don't want to get my hopes up, but it looks like this BIG BIG KAHUNA thing is actually happy now. Glad we calmed it down at last.

September 2012[edit]

September 6, 2012[edit]

RookieHey everyone, good news! The Fair is coming back to town this month, and I’M HELPING TO PLAN IT! Woohoo! And I promise I won’t sink the island. Not even a little!

September 13, 2012[edit]

RookieHey everyone! I’m helping to set up the Fair this week, so I might be a bit busy. If there are any emergencies or disasters, please leave a message!

September 20, 2012[edit]

RookieHey everyone, the Fair is going great! I almost blew up the Puffle Circus, but everything worked out okay. Phew! Hope you’re all having fun!

September 27, 2012[edit]

RookieHey everybody! I was so distracted by delicious popcorn, I almost refilled all the game tickets with anvils. Good thing I noticed!

October 2012[edit]

October 4, 2012[edit]

GAttention agents – I need some help investigating a personal matter this month. Please report to the Command Room for orders.

October 11, 2012[edit]

Jet Pack GuyHey everyone. I was just in the Forest, minding my own business, when I heard a strange sound. It was like a long ooOOOooOOOooh sound. Any ideas what it was?

October 18, 2012[edit]

RookieGadzooks! There are ghosts everywhere! Alert! What do we do? We didn’t cover ghosts in basic training!

October 26, 2012[edit]

GAgents! I have made contact with my long lost great uncle, Gariwald. As it happens, he turned himself into a ghost on purpose. What an amazing discovery!

November 2012[edit]

November 1, 2012[edit]

GExcellent! Things are back to normal. My great uncle Gariwald has returned to the ghostly world to continue his research. Well done!

November 8, 2012[edit]

DirectorRED ALERT! Agent G is missing. All agents, search the island. This is not a drill. Repeat, this is not a drill.

November 15, 2012[edit]

Herbert P BearClub Penguin is no more! The EPF is finished! From this day forward, I'M in charge! And there’s NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME! MWAHAHA!

November 22, 2012[edit]

Herbert P BearSurrender Elite Penguin Fools! Your best agents have already been caught, like flies in a web. You cannot defeat me.

November 29, 2012[edit]

Herbert P BearI know it's YOU trying to oppose me, Agent! I WILL find out who you are. I WILL capture you. Mark my words!

December 2012[edit]

December 6, 2012[edit]

DirectorWell done agents. The Blackout has ended. Though Herbert has eluded capture, his base is destroyed, and the Solar Laser with it. We must now rebuild.

December 13, 2012[edit]

GWhat a mess! Herbert destroyed so much data. Personnel files, PSA backups, the entire Field-Ops mainframe. Right now I'm not even sure what can be fixed.

December 20, 2012[edit]

GAgents – divert your efforts to baking cookies! I’ve been studying them in great detail. They contain 124% your daily intake of magic!

December 27, 2012[edit]

RookieHappy holidays everyone! I hope you're all having a blast at the party. I got a new pair of socks - best gift ever!


January 2013[edit]

January 4, 2013[edit]

GGreat Scott – of course! By recalibrating the temporal distortion array in my Time Trekker, I can manipulate time space as easy as peeling a tangerine! Simple!

January 10, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyUmm... Gary? Are you feeling okay? You've been acting... kinda strange.

January 17, 2013[edit]

GAnyone feel like creating a temporal singularity and traveling back in time with me? There are lots of dinosaurs there!

January 31, 2013[edit]

GTerrible news! I accidentally fixed the temporal distortion. Things are back to normal. Hopefully I'll figure out how to break it again someday!

February 2013[edit]

February 7, 2013[edit]

RookieHey guys! Have you seen Herbert? Or any signs of him like fur or vegetarian stuff? It’s so weird that he just totally completely disappeared… Don’t you THINK?

February 14, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyKeep your eyes peeled for suspicious activity at film shoots. Security is top priority with all these VIP’s mulling around.

February 21, 2013[edit]

DotGreat job, Agents – things seem to be going off without a hitch. Now let’s keep up surveillance at the Awards Show. I want to see you all looking sharp.

February 28, 2013[edit]

G -Anyone else find the cubic measure of their Spy Phone excessively voluminous? Gadzooks! I think it might be time to experiment with an upgrade!

March 2013[edit]

March 7, 2013[edit]

RookieDid you guys see the big crates in the Command Room? What's in them?! Probably TVs… Or no. Maybe a pair of giant purple chocolate elephants! I'M SO EXCITED!!!

March 14, 2013[edit]

PHHeya agents! Got some construction going around the Pet Shop–would ya mind keeping an eye out? This is an important event — I need extra security!

March 21, 2013[edit]

GaryZounds! Re-construction of the EPF is coming along splendiferously. I’m particularly ecstatic about the addition of an on-site lab! For SCIENCE!

March 28, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyAgents. It's been too quiet for comfort lately. We've got a couple of high profile threats we haven't tracked down. Keep sharp out there.

April 2013[edit]

April 5, 2013[edit]

GA highly unstable, flammable substance was stolen from the Pizza Parlor! This could have exceedingly devastating consequences. I repeat. This is bad.

April 11, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyI'm seeing a lot of real fine work out there, agents. One agent in particular showed great skill and bravery. You know who you are.

April 18, 2013[edit]

GRecent fluctuations in seismic activity are affecting rock composition in a most peculiar way... crystals unlike any I’ve studied before...

April 25, 2013[edit]

DotAttention. We're seeing a major outbreak of robots all over the island. And a lot of penguins in tights. Keep alert. There's only one bag of bolts who could be behind this!

May 2013[edit]

May 2, 2013[edit]

RookieSo far I've met 152 robots!! So COOL. But they are NOT friendly. Like, for example, they are NOT going in for high fives.

May 9, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyReport to the Command Room to check out Spy Drills – our new elite training terminal. Hone skills. Earn medals. Gear up. Enough said.

May 11, 2013 (Bug)[edit]

DirectorAll agents - upon completion of this week's Field-Op, please take some time to enjoy the Holiday Party, and help out with Coins For Change.[1]

May 16, 2013[edit]

GElectromagnetic levels are normal. And I've collected some fascinating minerals! Now my Climatron 3000 is just picking up a rise in sub-zero moisture. We're in for a cold snap!

May 23, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyWarning all agents. Nearly crash landed when a strong wind knocked me off course. Not every day I fly through flurries as dangerous as those. Really chilly up there.

May 30, 2013[edit]

DotGreat to see so many agents doing Spy Drills. Kudos you guys. And now that you’ve banked some medals, reward yourself. Elite gear!

June 2013[edit]

June 6, 2013[edit]

DirectorAgents. Continue to join our ninja allies in battle. Defend the island. The threat is great.

June 13, 2013[edit]

GDespite extensive experimentation, the application of that stolen hot sauce remains unclear. One indisputable fact – that polar bear is keeping an awfully low profile!

June 20, 2013[edit]

RookieDid you see?! Construction's done at the Ski Village! But those big phones DON'T WORK. Dot says they're 'for decoration ONLY'.

June 27, 2013[edit]

DotLots of strange characters around the island…Agents, go undercover in a one-eyed mask or furry monster suit and see what intel you can dig up.

July 2013[edit]

July 4, 2013[edit]

RookieUniversity is AWESOME! I wish we could go to school ALL YEAR ROUND! We could learn about poems…and ROCKS! Like my pet ROCK!

July 11, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyReports are coming on of Puffles digging up rare items! Those goofy little fur balls never cease to amaze me. Great to have 'em on our team.

July 18, 2013[edit]

GThe Death Star is approaching rapidly. Agents - continue preparation for the landing of Millenium Falcon at the Dock.

July 25, 2013[edit]

DirectorAgents. Report to Tatooine to join the Rebel Alliance. The fate of the galaxy rests with you.

August 2013[edit]

August 1, 2013[edit]

DotAlright agents. Time to infiltrate the Death Star. Darth Herbert's going down!

August 8, 2013[edit]

DirectorAgents. The data has been analyzed and we've found the Death Star's weakness. Get to Yavin 4 and take the space station down.

August 15, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyGreat work agents. Darth Herbert and the Empire have been defeated. Take a break. You deserve it.

August 22, 2013[edit]

DotThe Summer Jam has started. Keep your eyes peeled for troublemakers, but don't forget to hit the beach and have some fun!

August 29, 2013[edit]

RookieI had a great vacation :D And rubber ducky took care of everything! It was like I wasn't ever gone O.o

September 2013[edit]

September 5, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyHerbert's been far too quiet lately. We're beginning to wonder if we've seen the last of him. Or if he'll wash up somewhere.

September 12, 2013[edit]

DotAgents, honing your skills is essential. Make sure you're practicing your Spy Drills. Youcan never be too prepared.

September 19, 2013[edit]

DirectorThere are chickens on the loose. Round them up, agents. It's a matter of national security.

September 26, 2013[edit]

GGadzooks! This party is absolutely medieval! There is a 99.5% probability princesses are in need of rescuing.

October 2013[edit]

October 3, 2013[edit]

GWhat exciting discoveries! Transformations, mysterious seeds, and an oddly familiar wizard. Rookie will be handling Halloween while I head to the lab to research!

October 10, 2013[edit]

RookieHi everybody! Did u hear I'm planning the Halloween party? Make sure u all dress up and eat candy, k? Nothing bad's going to happen, so u can take a break and relax.

October 17, 2013[edit]

RookieHey guys! So some of the candy was cursed, and is turning everyone into vampires, werewolves, and zombies. My bad. If you don't wanna be a monster, don't eat the candy.

October 24, 2013[edit]

DirectorEvery agent has impressed me greatly with their hard work. You've successfully helped protect the island for 8 years. I look forward to continuing to work with you.

November 2013[edit]

November 1, 2013[edit]

DotHerbert-sized footprints have been reported in the wilds. We've sent Jet Pack Guy to investigate and will update you as soon as we have more information

November 7, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyThere's something suspicious going out in the wilds. Get ready for rough terrain agents. We'll be heading into the wilderness.

November 14, 2013[edit]

PHPuffles have been going missing all over the island. And there are tracks leading out into the wild. We believe Herbert's behind this.

November 21, 2013[edit]

Director - Agents, we've set up an Outpost behind the Ski Village. Head there to get your orders and rescue the missing puffles.

November 28, 2013[edit]

GKeep up the great work. I've cracked 87,456% of Herbert's security systems. I just need the remaing chips.

December 2013[edit]

December 5, 2013[edit]

DirectorWell done, agents. The puffles are safe. Herbert is no match for the EPF.

December 12, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyWe can't pinpoint Herbert's location. The puffles who carried him off know the Wilds well. Keep an eye out for clues and report anything unusual. He can't have gone too far.

December 19, 2013[edit]

GAgents, we'll need everyone's help to recover the coins Herbert stole. And perhaps with a few modifications I can convert this train for EPF use... back to the lab!

December 26, 2013[edit]

Jet Pack GuyCrab-like footprints have been reported in the Wilds. We suspect they belong to Klutzy. It's difficult to trace them back to a single location. We may need to bring in an expert.


January 2014[edit]

January 3, 2014[edit]

RookieHappy New Year! That was the BEST Year EVER! There were puffles, super heroes, dragons, vampires, and... uh oh. I don't think I'm supposed to use this for non-EPF messages...

January 9, 2014[edit]

Jet Pack GuyAgents! A mysterious message has been found at the Snow Forts. Secure the perimeter and search for clues.

January 16, 2014[edit]

GI've received a message from my great uncle Garugg the Ugg Ugg. Agents, I shall require your assistance. We are about to step back in time. Things could get dangerous.

January 30, 2014[edit]

GCreating disturbances in the past could cause temporal paradoxes to occur. Agents, keep an eye out for any changes and remember to step lightly.

February 2014[edit]

February 6, 2014[edit]

GOur trip to the past was a success! The Forest changed but didn't have any negative effects. We'll need to observe the Iceberg for changes still.

February 13, 2014[edit]

GAn arcade machine has gone missing from the Lounge. There is a 27.84% chance it will explode if plugged in. Inform me if anyone sees it.

February 20, 2014[edit]

RookieHey! I'm sure the Director wouldn't mind if everyone took a break and tried out some of the rides at the Fair! Cause they're AMAZING!

February 27, 2014[edit]

DirectorRepairs to the Indestructible Containment Environment took longer than expected. The Command Room will be fully functional again next week.

March 2014[edit]

March 6, 2014[edit]

GGreat news agents! The Command Room is fully operational. Try out the lockers, they're a 2000-series!

March 13, 2014[edit]

RookieHey Director. Rubber ducky and I were playing hide-and-seek. What's this encrypted file Q1JBQg-2001 about?

March 20, 2014[edit]

DirectorRookie. Report to my office immediately. Your Spy Phone privileges have been suspended.

March 28, 2014[edit]

Jet Pack GuyAgents. We received a tip that the Museum may be targered for a robbery. Let's increase our security. Stay Sharp.

April 2014[edit]

April 3, 2014[edit]

Jet Pack GuyRockhopper's coming in for an emergency stop. Get ready to aid the captain. We don't know what could be behind his dwindling supplies.

April 10, 2014[edit]

DotGet your puffle disguises together, agents. The party starts next week and we don't want precious pets to go missing. You never know where Herbert could be hiding.

April 17, 2014[edit]

PHYou guys are ACE! This puffle celebration is gonna be a hit! Ther's no sign of Herbert anywhere! Thanks for protecting these little critters!

April 24, 2014[edit]

Jet Pack GuyAgents, puffle tricks are a great way to train your pet. An elite agent needs an elite sidekick.

May 2014[edit]

May 1, 2014[edit]

RookieHey guys! The Director gave me back my Spy Phone privileges and the keys to Gary's lab so I can help him clean. Yay!!! What could possibly go wrong?!

May 8, 2014[edit]

GMy trip to the future was successful, but I detected a Protobot power signature. We'll need to take more readings.

May 15, 2014[edit]

DirectorWe are going to the future, agents. Our priority is stopping Protobot. Good luck.

May 22, 2014[edit]

GThe time portal is active! You go ahead to the future while I maintain the portal. Otherwise, you won't be able to get back!

May 29, 2014[edit]

DirectorAgents! Ultimate Protobot is attacking in the future. We must stop him. Gary 3000's secret cannot fall into enemy hands.

June 2014[edit]

June 5, 2014[edit]

Jet Pack GuyGood flying, agents. Protobot is neutralized. Let's keep it that way.

June 12, 2014[edit]

GThanks to those agents that defeated Protobot. I'm going to analyze his parts at HQ. They're very advanced.

June 19, 2014[edit]

Jet Pack GuyIf you help with G's experiments at HQ, keep explosions to a minimum.

June 26, 2014[edit]

RookieJPG always says the EPF need to stay in shape. So let's join the Penguin Cup! Yay baseball!

July 2014[edit]

July 3, 2014[edit]

DirectorThe Penguin Cup is secure in my office. It's a valuable asset. Also, I like it.

July 10, 2014[edit]

GI've been experimenting with new modes of locomotion. And I don't mean trains. Bring any extra hot sauce to the HQ!

July 17, 2014[edit]

RookieThat cruise ship is HUGE! I was wandering around inside and I lost my wrench. Anyone know where it is?

July 24, 2014[edit]

GSome minor setbacks have occured with the Racer 3000s. Don't mind the explosions. Everything is on track fr next week!

July 31, 2014[edit]

GAgents! I need your help testing my newest invention, the Racer 3000. Head to the Forts and tell me what you think!

August 2014[edit]

August 7, 2014[edit]

GExcelent work with the go-karts agents. With the addition of cream soda to the hot sauce mix, I'll be able to make them even faster!

August 14, 2014[edit]

RookieHeya agent buddies! We have visitors from Arendelle coming. Let's get the island ready. No villains, okay?! Or anvils... or cursed candy... or...

August 21, 2014[edit]

RookieAll this magic is so NEAT! I'm gonna read Garianna's magic book. I'm gonna show 'em how to become a unicorn puffle!

August 28, 2014[edit]

GAgents, if you observe a chicken puffle wearing a beanie, please report the location to HQ. Rookie may have enchanted himself..

September 2014[edit]

September 4, 2014[edit]

Jet Pack GuyReporting in. Klutzy spotted in the Wilds. Gonna track him to see where he's headed.

September 11, 2014[edit]

Jet Pack GuyAgents! I have a confirmed sighting. Repeat. Klutzy found Herbert. This ain't good.

September 18, 2014[edit]

DirectorAgents. Watch for suspicious activity at the school. It may be Herbert's target.

September 25, 2014[edit]

RookieHeya! I almost got this school building thing figured. Did I miss anything?

October 2014[edit]

October 2, 2014[edit]

DirectorGreat job agents. The school is secure. Rookie is being briefed on proper project management.

October 9, 2014[edit]

Jet Pack GuyNo suspicious movement has been reported from Herbert. But Klutzy has been stealing pizza Keep watch on the Pizza Parlor.

October 16, 2014[edit]

DotI'm going undercover to keep an eye on paranormal activities. The puffle fountain is a great hiding place.

October 23, 2014[edit]

GThere's something suspicious going on at the Puffle Hotel. Agents, your skills are needed to get to the bottom of this.

October 16, 2014[edit]

Jet Pack GuySubmersible blueprints are missing from Gary's lab. Fish bits were discovered outside an air vent. This security breach is unacceptable.

November 2014[edit]

November 1, 2014[edit]

GAt the Director's request, I'm cleaning up the lab. Keep an eye out for my missing sock.

November 14, 2014[edit]

Jet Pack GuyWe need recon on the Migrator. Look through the telescope and report back!


March 2015[edit]

March 5, 2015 (Removed)[edit]

DotThe talent show was a success! I disguised myself as several guest inanimate objects. Did any agents spot me? [2]

March 5, 2015[edit]

DirectorAgents: Communications have been restored. If you see Rookie, tell him to visit my office. Immediately.

March 12, 2015[edit]

GaryI've managed to restore all of our EPF systems. Mostly by turning them off and then on again.

March 19, 2015[edit]

DirectorAgents. PH needs help. The EPF must solve the Great Puffle Mystery!

March 26, 2015[edit]

DirectorThe Attic has reopened. The items inside may be clues to myths on the island. Study them carefully, agents.

April 2015[edit]

April 2, 2015[edit]

RookieIt’s okay, everyone! I found rubber duck. We can stand down from the maroon alert.

April 10, 2015 (Removed)[edit]

Jet Pack GuyAgents, we have a breach at the Docks. Secure that maze immediately.

April 10, 2015 (Dated January 10, 2015)[edit]

RookieHeya! As communications lead, I wanna communicate that the sasquatch is super nice. He gave me a fish![3]

April 16, 2015[edit]

GaryI’m trying to calibrate the Spy Drills in the EPF Headquarters. I would appreciate agents giving them their best attempt this week!

April 23, 2015[edit]

RookieIt's Bring a Friend to Work week! You should invite a friend to check out the EPF HQ.

April 30, 2015[edit]

DirectorAfter Bring a Friend to Work week, there is a new rule. All agents must confirm their friends are not polar bears in disguise. That is all.

May 2015[edit]

May 7, 2015[edit]

RookieHeya agents. This month, introduce yourself to new recruits. I’m Rookie. It’s my name and my rank! I’m the communication lead.

May 14, 2015[edit]

GaryGreetings new agents! I’m G, the gadget specialist and tech lead.

May 21, 2015[edit]

DirectorAgents, I organize missions and tell you what you need to know. I’m the Director.

Originally the message was send by Gary, it was later fixed.

May 28, 2015[edit]

Jet Pack GuyThe name's Jet Pack Guy. Tactical lead. Stay sharp, recruit.

June 2015[edit]

June 11, 2015[edit]

RookieThese training missions are SUPER tough. But don't worry. EPF agents always help each other! Now where do I put that belt...?

June 18, 2015[edit]

DotThe skills from the training missions will always be useful. Where do you think I learned how to make disguises out of anything?

June 25, 2015[edit]

DirectorThe final training missions will show the meaning of our motto: Be Resourceful, Be Remarkable, Be Ready.

July 2015[edit]

July 1, 2015[edit]

RookiePhew, training was hard. Time to relax with a pizza, extra fish!

July 9, 2015[edit]

RookieHi, I’d like to order pizza, Hello? Um, oops, wrong number! …Do you think I could still get that pizza?

July 16, 2015[edit]

Jet Pack GuyTake good care of your equipment, agent. Jetpacks should be cleaned at least three times a day.

July 23, 2015[edit]

GI'll be in the lab today. Don't mind the explosions.

July 29, 2015[edit]

DirectorNew rule, agents: No explosions in the evening. Some of us are trying to sleep.

August 2015[edit]

August 6, 2015[edit]

DotJust a heads up, I'll be Dot the Design Gal in the next Club Penguin Times. That's my new civilian cover!

August 13, 2015[edit]

Jet Pack GuyLooking for some tactical training? Go to the Lounge above the Dance Club. Take out that Melmonst!

August 20, 2015[edit]

DirectorAgent, do you own a puffle with spy skills? Bring any Elite Puffle Force candidates to the Puffle Park and put them through their paces.

August 27, 2015[edit]

DotThe Fashion Festival is on. I'm going to practice my disguise skills with those fashion challenges. You never know what a mission will require.

September 2015[edit]

September 3, 2015[edit]

Jet Pack GuyA jet pack is the only fashion accessory an EPF agent needs.

The message didn’t appear until the next one was released.[citation needed]

September 10, 2015[edit]

RookieDarn it! Turns out wearing a Hebert outfit in EPF headquarters is frowned upon. So much for my entry to the fashion challenge.

September 17, 2015[edit]

DirectorUnusual activity has been detected at the school. Go undercover and infiltrate it, agent!

September 24, 2015[edit]

RookieI've got intel that the Anniversary Party starts on Oct. 1! Let's find out if there's cake!

October 2015[edit]

October 1, 2015[edit]

DirectorNo one will compromise the 10th Anniversary Party. Not while we protect the island!

October 8, 2015[edit]

DirectorThanks you, agents, for all the unnoticed work that you do. Stay vigilant.

October 15, 2015[edit]

GI don't want to cause alarm, but my robots are behaving VERY oddly. Please report back with any theories!

October 22, 2015[edit]

GDo NOt worRY! evERythinG is Fine... *BZZZT* No Robot proBLEms HerE...

October 29, 2015[edit]

GAttention agents! Our comm system was hacked by robots. This is inconceivable! There's no way they could do that.

November 2015[edit]

November 5, 2015[edit]

GThe comms equipment is going haywire! There's a disturbance in the atmosphere!

November 11, 2015[edit]

Jet Pack GuyI spotted Herbert. He's looking for Klutzy. What's that bear up to?

November 19, 2015[edit]

DirectorTop secret—Klutzy has been taken aboard the UFO. Keep up the Paint Fest cover story, agents.

November 26, 2015[edit]

GI believe I can help the UFO, but I need to use this comms equipment. Signing off for now, agents!

Sources and References[edit]